Post major break-up, sifting through the detritus of my life, I found “THE LIST." Years before, after another brutal split, I had written out an honest list of everything I wanted in a life partner.From being nice to children and the elderly, to detailed sexual desires I wouldn't let anyone read, I didn't hold back. It was my moment except it was more like Eat, Cry, Eat. So I made a promise to myself: The next guy I was going to meet would be the 100% guy. My hand grabbed the nearest thick red marker and at the top of the list I announced: Armed with my new mandate and ready to move on, I started to date men again.For example, I met up with a guy whose profile picture wasn't exactly my type, but hey, he liked comedy and had an adorable profile and picked a dope restaurant. Another was a surfer in Hermosa Beach who on the surface lacked ambition but that Modern Art Museum membership he had was good enough for me to check him out while we both checked out the new collection. Or perhaps you love '80s music—this guy used to be an exec at Capitol Records!
It's ridiculous to expect ONE guy to be ALL the things I need in a life partner—especially on the first date! And maybe until I found that 100% person, I could find what I needed from several guys who fit 20% of my criteria and at the same time stay open to the possibility that my definition of the perfect guy and my checklist might grow and change as I did. I re-downloaded my dating apps, went on tons of dates, all while making sure to save one day a week for just me and my friends. The guys I was interested in and with whom I was most compatible starting separating themselves out into predictable categories—five of them, to be exact.
Here's how it works: Step 1: Write out two lists—the partner wish list and a list of things you like to do.