Pull and push strategy in dating
And I’m sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them.Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.In this case, the kernel of an article came to me via Twitter as one of my readers linked me to a post on Tumblr with a rant and blistering response between a “Nice Guy” and one of the many women who bought into the “Nice Guy” schtick.
Whiskey all the while cursing my laptop for betraying me by not magically producing the pages that the DMT elves promised me.
He’s engaging in what is, for all intents and purposes, a transactional relationship or a particularly grind-y MMO quest line.
In his mind, by acting like her friend – doing her favors, spending time with her, giving her emotional support at times when her boyfriend is acting like a raging asshole – he’s collecting as many pork-asses as he possibly can until the end of the quest when she breaks up with her boyfriend and he can trade all of those hard-earned pork-asses in for a relationship… The “Nice Guy” has usually bought into the lies that he’s peddling: that he’s really being a good friend to her, that he respects her in ways her asshole boyfriends don’t, that his love for her is a purer, more deserving love than anyone else she might know.
He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he’s probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that.
A Nice Guy traditionally finds himself in the Friend Zone in one of two ways: either he asks someone out and gets the Let’s Just Be Friends speech or else he never asks her out in the first place.